Youth stuck on video games ~EZUIN~

Stuck on video games is an excessive or compulsive use of computer and video games that interferes with daily life. Ask youth/teenagers how they love to spend their spare time, and chances are, you’ll get an earful about video games. But why do they love them so? Is video game addiction real? Well, his article will answer that. Singapore students spend 27 hours a week playing video games like Maple Story and World of Warcraft. The hours spent are extensive as compared than those American youths who spend just 13 hours a week dragon-slaying.

What makes them so addictive? According to some studies in the documentary and few talking shows like’ the Drs’ that I’ve watched, it would appear that the excitement of video games causes the brain to release a chemical that is, in essence, addictive. For any parent who has seen the fervor by which some kids play video games, this news is no surprise.

Youth are very compelling with increasing complexity, so they become more facile, yet very curious which will lead them to wanting to know more and apply new skills. While wanting to improve their game is not a problem in itself, it becomes one if video games are taking a youngster away too much from other activities like (in this article) Lawrence Lee, 16, who claimed that playing for four hours a day 'is nothing'. He will sleep and study only when his parents forced me to and in addition, he even skipped brushing his teeth in the morning occasionally.

Not only that it takes too much hours from daily activities, it also may lead to violence. Youths game addicts will get temperamental easily when we disrupt them when palying their ‘video games’. This is because, they will lose their concentration and might not win the game.

If not too violent, video games can offer some real positive opportunities for puzzle solving, strategic and critical thinking. But it is important that video and computer games are played in moderation.  Parents provide a selection of activities, not just the ones that have the most action or are addictive. Choose some that involve problem solving or good story lines. Also aim for a balance in their child’s life. Sports are important, reading is important too. Just think of computer games as one more component in a child's exploration of what's out there in society.

As for video games addiction? To me, I believes that a parent can prevent youngsters from becoming addicted to too much TV or too many video games by establishing a pattern of selective viewing or by using video game material early in a child's life so that by the time a youngster gets to be an adolescent and there's very little surveillance or control, it's less likely to occur.

To conclude, if a youngster becomes addicted to video games it can be a problem and the parent does need to intervene and provide attractive alternatives.

Youth that play games: Jia Yan

Teenagers that play computer games: Jia Yan
Personally I think that playing computer games is not a wrong thing, but it must be done under moderation. Nowadays, playing Computer games are common in this modern society; however they do not only have bad effect, but comes with good effect too. I think there are two main reasons why teenagers play computer games, its simple because games are fun and help aims to focus on to relieve stress. Take for example, any leveling games like MapleStory, PangyaSEA, etc.. each level gain on the teenager's character would make them have a sense of achievement, which make them continue to play even longer period of time. On the other hand if teenagers tend to play too much or go overboard in playing computer games, it might cause them to feel tired. And also after teenagers come back from school and started to play computer games for hours. They tend to be tired, thus causing them to fall asleep and not doing their homework or assignment that they are suppose to be done for the next day lesson. And playing computer games makes your mind very active in thinking; it causes you to be unable to sleep well because of the excitement of the games, especially games that are of violent impact.

I believe that under moderation and under time management, teenagers would not always feel sleepy or act aggressively after playing games for long hours. With time moderation, games that are played could help re-boot their mind making them active in thinking and solving problems especially in mathematics. For long-term gamers might even cause serious health damage to their body. First factor is bad eye sights caused by prolonged computer used, our eyes are badly affected by how long we stare at the bright screen, for long-term staring could make us stop blinking and thus make our eyes strain and to dry out. Second is bad posture which is number one enemy, long periods of time at the computer while playing games often leads to pain in the lumbar region of the back and even cause our back to slouch. Our hand and wrist ache after playing too long which sometimes lead to the feeling of numbness.

In conclusion, most importantly, parents should play a part in guiding teenagers, giving them time constrain on playing computer games. One way of preventing kids from playing too much computer games is having conversation with their child, talking about the seriousness and the negative impact of playing computer games.

Here is a video about the impact of playing computer games and that if parents should be discussing with their child; they cannot play violent games.

Gaming addiction

An increasing population of youth nowadays stuck on video games have raised concerns for parents, teachers and media. Parents and teachers are worried over the students becoming game addicts and may neglect their studies.

I recalled I was a game addict when I was in Secondary One. I loves to play MapleStory at that point of time. MapleStory is a free-of-charge,2D, side-scrolling massively multiplayer online role-playing game developed by the South Korean company Wizet. In the game, players travel the “Maple World”, defeating monsters and developing their characters’ skills and abilities as is typical role-playing games. Players can interact with others in many ways, such as through chatting, trading, and playing mini games. Groups of players can band together in parties to hunt monsters and share the rewards. Players can also join a guild to interact more easily with each other. My classmates introduced me to play this game and gradually I begans to love playing it. We will compete with one another for an example, who can reach the highest level within the shortest period of time. When your character in the game reaches higher level, you need to spend more time to gain more level experiences on defeating more challenging monsters to level up. Hence I will spend at least 3 hours a day playing MapleStory, hunting rare items and defeating challenging monsters. Peers influence can be one of the factors leading teenagers to become a game addicts.

If you are to win among your peers in the game, it gives you a sense of achievement. You will like to challenge yourself to reach geater heights in game.I was proactively in game and have neglected my studies. My parents have been nagging me to stay focus on studies and they implement measures to stop me from playing game but to no avail. When I failed most of my subjects during the first semestral examinations, my mind come to senses that I have to stopped playing games and concentrate on my studies.

My grades gradually improve after I put in the effort to kick off the "bad habits" playing long hours computer game. Now I think back to the past, I feel myself being foolish to have spent so much time on playing computer games which had nearly cause me to repeat a year in Secondary school. here are also effects of sitting infront of a computer for long hours. It is bad for health. You may suffer from back and wrist injuries. Your eyes-sights will also be affected also it will deteriorate.

I feel that teenagers are allow to play computer games to relieve stress from school works but they have to be disciplined. They should know what is the limit and when to stop playing. Parents are advised to supervise their children to prevent them from becoming a game addicts. I find parents and children should have more communication. Youths love to act rebellious, parents should speak to their children in more persuasive manner and should not manipulate.  Teachers in school can hold talks about game addiction. Media can also create awareness of game addiction as well. I hope that parents, teachers and media can work together to lower the population of game addicts.

Anti-Games Poster: "SAY GAMEOVER TO YOUR GAME!"

FROM
HO CHEE HOW

Anorexia nervosa is on the rise among pre-teens as young as eight

In this article, TWEENS STARVING FOR PERFECTION, mentioned that there has been a rising trend pre-teens as young as eight diagnosed anorexia nervosa. Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthy body weight and an obsessive fear of gaining weight, often coupled with a distorted self image which may be maintained by various cognitive biases that alter how the affected individual evaluates and thinks about her or his body, food and eating. Persons with anorexia nervosa continue to feel hunger, but deny themselves all but very small quantities of food.

In my perspective looking at teenagers and children nowadays, they will spend on clothings and accessories to dress up themselves to make them look good including male and females. Especially the girls will love to doll themselves up and look good when they are out for shopping. In the article, it mentioned that mostly anorexia nervosa patient stand are girls. In my opinion, I feel that girls are much more sensitive to remarks like they are said to be chubby etc. This could lead to the reason why girls stand the majority to diagnose anorexia nervosa.

A female friend of mine, she skipped her lunch and dinner to lose weights. I told her there are other alternative to lose weight than skipping meals. She told me that skipping of meals is the fastest way to lose weight and in the least amount of time to lose to her satisfied weight. Is it because of beauty, you may have to lose your life? In my opinion, skipping meals are bad for health. Yes, you will lose weights but you are at your own risk to suffer from malnutrition. Your body will have lack of nutritions from food. I suggest is that you can eat less but more meals and could take up excersising to lose body mass. "A stone hits two bird", you can lose weights and you live a healthier life.

In the article, it also mentioned the rising trend in teenagers and children with anorexia nervosa has to do with the media idolising thin celebrities. I agree that media could affect the mind set of a growing up adults. Children as young as eight years old may not be matured enough as what they seen on TV they will learn from them. Celebrities are professional actors or singers. They have to look professional on camera, they may have hire dietician to watch their diet. Adolesceneces love to idolise their favourite celebrities and will like to look as good as them. However teenagers and children may not have adults or dietician under supervision on their diet. They will approach their "own ways" like skipping of meals, excerise excessively and on diet pills to lose weights. In the long run, they will suffer from eating disorders.

Parents, teachers and friends must learn how to spot those who need help, and reach out to them earlier. The following are effects of anorexia nervosa: Loss of menstrual periods or, in the case of pre-teens, delayed on-set of puberty, lacking of energy, weakness, feeling cold all the time, dry, yellowish skin, constipation and abdonminal pain, restlessness and insomnia, dizziness, fainting and headaches and growth of fine hair all over the body and face. Anorexia nervosa patient is require to undergo cognitive behavorial therapy with a psychologist as well as a nutritional counselling with a dietician. The patient's family will need to learn how to help a child modify him/her diet and exercise habits.

The media can also help to raise awareness of the importance of a healthy diet and body. Poster of "Say No to Eating Disorder!" can be placed in the public to keep teenagers or even the adults to think twice before acting to lose weights unhealthly.
An example of Anorexia awareness on media:


FROM:
HO CHEE HOW

SAMSON: Youth stuck on video games

After reading the article, I think that parents should do something to help their children to control the amount of hours they play video games. One key factor that causes the rise in the number of hours playing is the advance in technology. In the past, Maplestory and Warcraft are gaining its popularity because of its addictive game factor. Now, facebook comes introduce games that are played in a way that is similar to real life situation. For example, a farming game, that requires the player to water their plants every 8 hours etc. If that’s the case, the user will keep on playing every 8 hours just to water the plants.

Video games are harmful as they put more stress in our eyes. The eyes are not rested for so many hours of looking at the screens. This will affect the eye sight and worsens it. As such, parents can choose to place their computers at the living room so that they can monitor their children’s playing time. Next, children who have already addicted to the games should be sent to councilors for treatment. But if the children are still at the stage of able to control to stop playing but plays for several hours, I suggest that the parents should stop them for playing for 1 week to weaken the urge of playing.

Playing video games for 27 hours a week is like spending 4 hours every day just to play video games. I wonder how much time Singapore students spend on studying. Let’s take a simple example, a student comes back home at 6pm, and he or she started playing video games till 10pm. How possible they can manage their time well and study?

To conclude, I think that parents’ plays an important role in ensuring their children is not addicted to video games. They should always remind their children about the negative impact for playing video games and let them stop themselves.

SAMSON AOW

Safeenabanu: Games Addiction

Safeenabanu: Games Addiction

From the article, it tells us that games are gravely affecting teenagers. They are affecting teenagers in terms of academic and also relationship with family members especially. The most common form of games played by teenagers is computer games. Almost 99% of the households in Singapore have at least one computer. Computer has become common only in recent years. It is the means of retrieving information and also communication. However, since the addition of games, it has become hazardous to the young generation. They turn to games to reward themselves for their hard work in school. In other words, they play games to release all the stress that has accumulated while studying. Gradually, this is not the case. They find great pleasure in these games and will end up sitting in front of the computer for hours. Some even to the extent of sacrificing their sleep. This happens when a teenager has no self control over him or herself. The consequences of this situation are just too weighty. We need to find solutions to eliminate or at least minimize their addiction. If we don’t, the potential of developing the next Lee Kuan Yew will be less.

To start with, parents should set up the computer in the living room. This is to prevent them from having the computer all to themselves. In addition, parents will be constantly aware of their child online activities. Also, it will be easier for them to stop their child when they exceed the time limit. Therefore this will provide parents with some control over their child usage of the computer.

Parents should also encourage their child to take up at least one sport. Sport can be an alternative for teenagers to release their stress. By indulging in sport, teenagers are able to find more than one pleasure unlike computer games. In sport, teenagers can develop socially, physically and also mentally. They will be interacting with people before, during and after the games. In this way, they will be well informed about events that are taking place around the world or at least in their country. Sports will also improve their fitness level and immune system. They will therefore fall ill less frequently. Almost all sports require strategy while playing. Being exposed to different kinds of strategies will develop fast and healthy mind. By implementing this change, all problems that can arise from games addiction can be solve.

Anorexia: Jia Yan

Personally, I think that teenagers for boys and especially girls age 6 and above should be having 3 meals per day instead of starving themselves. I think teenagers starved themselves causing them to have eating disorder might be caused by many factors. I think one of the factors that cause this is physical and emotional changes, for example teenagers might find anorexia or bulimia gives them a way to handle stresses and anxieties which allows them to have control and impose order in their lives. Second, teenagers who gain some additional body fat during puberty have respond to this change by becoming fearful of their new weight and feel compelled to get rid the fat maybe by starving themselves in school or skipping meals or overdoing exercising or induce vomiting after having meals. Thirdly, I can see that why people may develop fear when gaining fat, this maybe due to the fact that they are overloaded by images of thin celebrities thus decided to starve themselves and not eating anything which leads to eating disorder.

On the other hand, our parents may influence our value and priorities towards food which is one of the contributing factors that causes anorexia or bulimic teenagers. I think the best way for parents to seek help when they notice their children are to thin and tend to skip meals is to find mental health professionals. They could help to treat people with eating disorders, diagnosing the illness and any associated physical problems resulting from it. Psychotherapy might be also one of the cure for eating disorder, it helps anorexia or bulimic teenage to clear their stressful mind or to straighten up their mindset that being thin is not the way to become pretty/beautiful. Physical problems such as low self-esteem, depressions, anger and feelings of lack of control in life, I believe with proper guidance from parents not stressing their children from studies giving freedom them such as going out for a holiday to other countries to relax could help manage their child from being anorexia or bulimic teenage.

Here is a Article about Isabelle Caro who risk her health by still being an Anorexia to raise awareness on Anorexia itself:
Isabelle Caro (born 12 September 1982) is a French model from Marseille, France, who became well-known after appearing in a controversial ad campaign by photographer Oliviero Toscani.^[1]
She has suffered from severe anorexia nervosa since she was 13 years old. Her anorexia was caused by what she calls a "troubled childhood." When she appeared on CBS's The Insider, it was revealed that at the worst of her eating disorder, her weight had gone as low as 25 kilograms (55 lb) at a height of 1.65 metres (5 ft 5 in); her most recent weight being 33 kilograms (73 lb).
She appeared on C4's Supersize vs Superskinny which aired on 11 March 2008, in which she spoke to journalist Anna Richardson about her anorexia.
Caro was hospitalized for the first time when she was 20. At her worst, in 2006, she slipped into a coma, weighing just 55 pounds (25 kg). The doctor said she wouldn't survive the coma but she did.
Caro was also interviewed in the second episode of TV documentary series, The Price of Beauty, which Jessica Simpson and her two best friends Ken Pavés and CaCee Cobb travel all over the world to explore the meaning of true beauty. Jessica would like to know how female models for fashion modeling have become obsessed with being skinny as one of bad beauty regimes. Caro talked about how she got anorexic and she realized it was a good opportunity for her to show people it was to be warned to save other girls as she got, which makes her stronger. Jessica was too impressed to say “What you are doing right now makes you more beautiful and I hope women all over the world hear about the story and it is important to know the skinny you are does not make you beautiful. It was aired on March 22, 2010 in USA　and on August 21 in Japan as an episode in France where a key of beauty is to enjoy a moment and live in to the fullest, means la joie de vivre in French.

Anorexia

      

Safeenabanu: Anorexia

Anorexia is an eating disorder which is more common in the middle and upper social economic group. The word ‘Anorexia’ comes from the Greek word meaning ‘a lack of desire to eat’.  It is often called the ‘slimming disease’ .95% of the people affected by anorexia are females while the rest 5% of them are males. The main cause of this eating disorder is having low-self esteem.  Self-esteem is tied closely with body image. People with anorexia are afraid of gaining weight. When they look at themselves in the mirror they are not happy with the way they look. They think that they are fat and ugly.  The next thing they will do is stop eating proper meal and start exercising excessively. When they do eat, they will force the food out after their meal. Some signs of anorexia are obsession with dieting, extreme weight loss in a short period, menstruation stops, hair lost; skin is covered with long, fine and soft hair, depressed and irritable.  Anorexia can cause lasting damage to organs such as the kidneys and reproductive organs.  It can also lead to osteoporosis because the lack of nutrients may cause a loss in bone density.

After studying y the consequences, we should stop this disease by helping anorexics to get out from their dangerous small world. We must let them know the effect it will take on their health and how it will affect their future. Make them realize their worth so that it will redevelop their self-esteem. Tell them that being extremely thin is not cool as it will make them look like a skeleton instead. Most importantly, they need to understand that nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.  Lastly,"Mens sana in corpore sano",a famous latin quotation which means a healthy mind is in a healthy body.

                      

EZUIN

TWEENS STARVING FOR PERFECTION

People with anorexia have an extreme fear of gaining weight, which causes them to try to maintain a weight far less than normal. They will do almost anything to avoid gaining weight, including staving themselves or exercising too much. People with anorexia have a distorted body image. They think they are fat (even when they are extremely thin) and won't maintain a proper weight.

From what I know, this happens to teenagers of 15 years old onwards but what concerns me now is, it is now hitting ages between 8 and 10 years old. Why? This is due to the bombarded by product and media images who are slim, svelte and pouty. They are too influence by the skinny models and are inspired to be like them when they grow up.This is beyond dangerous for young kids to suffer from anorexia. This could lead to serious problems such as a smaller and weaker heart, damaged kidneys and loss of bone mass as stated in the article. Apart from that if they are too fragile, they may be could not make it in life as they have no meat/muscle to protect them from unexpected incidents.

This article reminds me of myself when I’m in secondary 2, 13years old. I was diagnosed with anorexic. This happened when I could no longer fit in into my secondary 1 school skirt. I refuse to buy a new one and resort to losing weight by only drink a cup of soya bean a day for meal, few mineral water and going for exercise. My family have the habits of preparing breakfast for us. And when that happened, I used to take a Ziploc bag from the kitchen’s drawer secretly, stuffed whatever food that is prepared into that bag, then, threw it into the main bin and claimed that I’ve eaten all that. Sometimes, after we (me and family) had our meal together, I will go to the washroom, put my fingers to my throat and force myself to throw up to get rid of the food I’ve consumed. Since I was a school prefect, I was required to stand to do my duty. I often fainted and was brought to the sick bay. I lost like 10kg in less than 2 weeks and despite that, I wanted to lose more. Finally, all this thought of wanting to be skinny came to an end when one of my school mates realized how gross I looked and knocked some sense into me to stop whatever I am doing that I thought its okay. He educated me and changed my habits. One sentence that I could recall is “As people grow, they gain weight. This is healthy! For instance, if baby weigh X grams, u can’t expect them to maintain that weight as they grow right? And, by not having a proper meal, your metabolism rate will decrease and tendency of gaining weight is faster”. Apart from that, my parents too had work together to change my eating habits to a healthy one. I am so thankful that I managed to put a full stop at the unhealthy anorexic’s habits and adopt a healthier lifestyle. I am now a healthy person, with a right BMI, with a right nutritious portion of food consumed and a right exercise workout every week.

My advice to those people out there is, appreciate how you look. Admire yourself in the mirror every day and praise how beautiful you are as you are doing that. By becoming anorexic is not the healthiest way, perhaps, it is NEVER a healthy way of losing weight. To lose weight healthily, individual must have a balanced diet and exercise.

Below, I’ve attached 2 videos on anorexic. Hope you guys will have a second thoughts of becoming one.

http://youtu.be/uKUSGOB-0V8

http://youtu.be/VS2mfWDryPE

ANOREXIA

Anorexia is a symptom of poor appetite whatever the cause and wanted to starve itself due to over concern about their body shape.  Even in Singapore, we also have quite a high number of anorexia patients. This western affliction has penetrated the land of Singapore throughout the recent years. A report in 2007 indicated that anorexia in Singapore has doubled from 2003. Consistent with western findings, majority are adolescents, over 91% of sufferers are females and 84% are of Chinese ethnicity. Clinicians would point the finger at globalization or westernization in infusing in the young Singaporean minds that slimmer is always more beautiful and being fat is perceived as being lazy and unattractive. Today, adolescents drive themselves to be slim and attractive in various ways: by going to the gym, by increasing the distance they walk, by going through different kinds of diets, and finally by out rightly refusing the intake of food.

However it is still quite shocking to know that children as young as primary 2 already suffer from anorexia. This is very dangerous as children’s metabolism rate is not as high as adults, thus they suffer more than others. One factor could be because the children are expose to topics about being beautiful is equal to slim and tall. Hence they started to exercise and go strict diet. In such cases, parents play a very important role. They should teach their children that being beautiful and looking good does not have to be slim. It should be their inner self that shape what they are. If you feel good, you will look good. This phrase should be in their mind, alerting them that extreme diet is very dangerous and will eventually lead to death.

Why women can't have male friends??

EZUIN

In my personal opinion, married women having a male “good” friend/s is unacceptable to a large extent. Again, this is only from my point of view and it’s up to individual/s to disagree with this or say otherwise. I have reasons for stating my statement. One of it is because it might lead to misunderstanding between both the wife and the husband. When female tends to get close to her male friends, chances of your husband getting insecure would be higher. Millions of thoughts will run into his mind, like ‘Am I not good enough for my wife that she needs another man to talk with?’, and etc. He will then get jealous and arguments start to emerge. This does not only happened to unstable married couple but also may also happen in couples who possess a strong bonding in their relationship.

Relate back to this article, ‘I’ve not had a single SMS from anyone of them since, and it’s a cause of some hurt, chagrin and sadness for me’ (paragraph 8). Reading this, set my marbles thinking. Why must she feel this way? She should instead be grateful for her male ‘friends’ for respecting her husband by moving a few distance from her and not think selfishly that now their ‘girlfriend’ is married.

My suggestion to Ms Tan if she wants to maintain the friend’s relationship with her male friends is, be open with her husband, and introduce her friends to him if her husband really wants to meet him, but otherwise continue as normal. And make sure you're marriage is healthy. “A friend loves at all times." by The Bible: Proverbs 17, 17. This quote is one of my favourite. To me, it means that a true friend will always be there thinking about you all the times, the one that never forgets you and will be always be there for you no matter what happen. It does not mean that when they (male friends) stop messaging you, it’s the end. They probably just want to give you some space for you and your husband to spend time.

Or, she could just get over her male friends and concentrate on her relationship with her husband and share common interest together.

In conclusion, it's not about 'restriction and control'. It is not that hard to fall in love with an opposite-gender friend. It happens all the times and this is where people find themselves having affairs. So you can rail against 'restrictions' all you want, but if you don't want to end up in trouble. You conduct yourself wisely.

Can married women have male friends: Jia Yan

Why Married woman can't have male friends: Jia Yan

Personally I think that married woman can still have male friends, it all depend on how their own perception; the way married women thinks of male friends. I think every different person on this planet is a product of different experiences. Be it, having male friends for married women; Unmarried men and married women as friends or married men and married women as friends or Husband’s male friends. Depending on these factors, whether or not women should be continuing to be talking or texting to their male friends. I believe that if woman are married, they can still be friends with male, but however if the male's perception thoughts could cause conflict between them then the woman should not be a friend of him. Negative situation may happen, for example the male friend may create havoc in the woman family which may lead to separation and divorce with her husband.

In addition, the woman may not get the custody of her children and thus get deprived of them. On the other hand, woman may even do not want the burden of her own children to be passed on them, thus children may suffer in the long run as they want freedom with no encumbrances.
As stated in the article I agree that it’s fine to keep friendships which were forged before the marriage. I think we need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young regardless of male or female friends. In addition, stated in the article “We all need friends, whether we’re single or married”, I believe that friends are important as friends are always there for us, to laugh in the happy or sad times, which serve us as one of the biggest supports in our life. Friends are amongst those few people who accept us, rather like us, as we are. They never come into our life, expecting us to change for them. However, they correct us when we are at fault.

In conclusion, i believe that  married woman can have male friends, but it all depend on how the woman view the personality of the male characteristic and if she should continue be friends with him. 

Is it okay for married people to have close friends of the opposite sex?

In my perspective looking into married people stay close with their friends of the oppsite sex is acceptable to a large extent. Yes you are married, your status have changed but that doesn't mean you have to stop keeping in contact with your opposite sex friends. People have this perception, your spouses can fulfill your every need. Why there is a need to seek out someone else's company or atttention? They start feeling disloyal to their partner if they continue messaging their opposite sex friends to share jokes, tell a story, or seek words of comfort.

This could be the reason why once people are married they will start to lose their friendships. As mentioned in the article,Why don't they text, the writer she realised once she is married alot of her male friends start to lose contact with her. Even her soccer buddy who used to crack jokes have stopped messaging her. Maybe those male friends find inapproriate or improper to SMS a married woman, even their realtionship were purely platonic.

I agree with the article saying male friends may find improper to SMS a married woman, because his female friend have got married and own family. Her husband may think why this man keeping contacting her wife and misunderstandings may easily occur. However, if her husband request her wife to cut off ties with male friends who preceded him is unreasonable. It is approriate for the married woman to find her male friends to have a cup of tea, chit-chatting and even having a dinner together to keep up with one another. However, a clear line should be drawn between friends, chatting and sharing common topic of interest is approriate but if have gone beyond friends' intimacy level is too much.

A mutual trust between couples are essential. Relationship expert said in the article that it's crucial not to hide anything- including friendships- from your spouse. You are highly encourage to introduce your friends to your spouses, so he/she know who you are contacting with. Relationship expert also added that couples should make time for each other, make that time a priority. But also give each other enough space to fulfill their individual needs, and that mean the space to have friends, male and female.

In conclusion, we all need friends, whether you are single or married. Friendships are essential in our lives, this is human psychology. We need affectionate, care and concern.



From Ho Chee How

I think that women should not have close male friends especially when they had married. The reason is just simply they had married. Of course, who would like their wife to be so close with another guy?

Women also have to think about the consequences if their husband found out that his wife is getting too close with another male friend. Their husband first reaction is getting jealous and slowly lost the trust between he and his wife. This will then  be a serious issue. This is because, very often, women would approach to the close male friend and talk about how her husband being too sensitive. Divorce could be the next alternative.

However, if their husbands understand that their wife had a close male friend and the husband is open about it. Then I think it is OK.

I believe that the roles of husband are a support to the wife in terms of financial, mental and emotional. Thus, I see no reason why must women chat with another male friend to de-stress. I agreed with the male friends who take steps to prevent misunderstanding between married couples. But, i find it too harsh to totally stop contacting. Maybe the friends could meet up for lunch with the couple to have more interactions. I would like to suggest that for married couple, the most important thing is the mutual trust. Hence, whatever happens, they must stand strong with reasons and trust between each other.

FROM: SAMSON AOW

'why dont they text': Safeenabanu

Why don’t they text? : Safeenabanu

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

If we try to relate the quote above to the article on ‘why don’t they text’, it tells us that in the end, married or not married, we will remember the silence of our friends. Therefore, a woman who is married will of course remember her pre-married friends. Friends whom she had spent good and bad times with. Friends, whom she had shared her feelings and laughter with, friends, both males and females. However referring to the article, a married woman does not have any problem staying in contact with her female friends. Rather, they have problem staying in contact with their male friends.

In regard to this, I feel that true male friends should not stop staying in contact with or messaging their married female friends. If they are true friends, they will spontaneously look for each other. They will feel the need to meet or talk to each other once in a while. They might want to talk about the interests which they share together. Being a wife does not mean that one shares exactly the same interests as the spouse. Also, true friendship means that they have to always remember the kindness of their friends who have helped them in bad times.

However, being a male friend, they should know their limit. For example, going to the movie is now out of the list unless the husband is present. They must always make sure that every action they do must not affect the married life of their female friends. On the other hand, the husband has to understand that his wife is a normal human being just like him who also has female friends. In addition, as a wife, it’s their responsibility to introduce their male friends to their husband as spouses normally do not like to be in the dark. The best is, having a mutual understanding among the three parties. In this case, no problem will arise and they will live happily ever after!
"The bird a nest,
the spider a web,
man friendship."
- William Blake
                                              HAVE A NICE DAY!